Letter 250, Tolkien Michael
November 1, 1963
My dear M.:
Thanks for writing ... Long last! I do not think you've inherited from my dislike of writing letters, but the inability to write briefly. Which means, inevitably, rarely in your life (and mine). I think we both like to write letters ad family; but we are forced to write both "business" that fail us time and energy.
I'm sorry you feel depressed. I hope this is partly a result of your illness. But I fear that is above all an occupational affliction and human disease almost universal (any occupation) associated with your age .... I remember quite clearly the time when I was your age (in 1935). Had become 10 years before (still innocent and trusting, full of the illusions of youth) to Oxford, I now disliked the students and their style and had really begun to know the professors. Years earlier had rejected as repugnant cynicism a vulgar person own the words of warning that told me the old Joseph Wright: "What are you looking at Oxford, boy?" "A university, a place of learning." "On the contrary, boy, is a factory! And you know what it does? I'll tell you. Is making fees. Get it on the head and begin to understand what happens. "
In 1935, alas, I knew that was perfectly true. Anyway, as a key to the conduct of professors. Perfectly true, but not the whole truth. (The largest part of the truth is always hidden in regions beyond the reach of cynicism.) I applied stonewalling and was hampered in my efforts (as a teacher of class B with partial salary, but with duties of class A) for the sake of the subject and the reform of teaching, scholarship by vested interests and fees. But at least I have not suffered like you, never forced me to teach anything but love (and love) with unquenchable enthusiasm. (Except for a brief time after my change of Chair in 1945: it was awful.)
devotion to the "teaching" as such and without reference to one's reputation is a high calling and in a sense to a spiritual vocation, and since it is "high" is inevitably lowered by false brethren, brothers tired, by the desire for money and pride when people say "my subject" and thus does not mean the subject in which I am humbly bent, but the subject that I have decks or 'made me. " Surely this devotion usually degrades and sullies in universities. But there still is-ta. And if they are close to contempt, would disappear from the face of the earth ... until they are re-established in corruption again in due time. The much greater devotion to religion can not possibly escape the same process. Of course it is degraded to some extent by all the "professional" (and by all professing Christians), and some, at different times and places, outraged, and as the goal is higher, the downside seems (and is) far worse. But you can not maintain a tradition of teaching or true science without schools and universities, and that means teachers and professors. And you can not maintain a religion without a church and ministers, and that means professionals, priests and bishops ... and monks. The precious wine must (this world) have a bottle or a substitute even less valuable. For my part, I find that I become less cynical, not otherwise pro-remembering my own sins and follies, and I realize that the hearts of men is often not as bad as their acts, and rarely as bad as their words. (Especially at our age, age of derision and cynicism. We are more free from hypocrisy, it does not "block" profess holiness or feelings quite high, but it is an age of hypocrisy as the widely-used inverted snobbery of the day: men profess to be worse than they are .)... .
But you speak of "faith weakened." That is another matter altogether. Ultimately, faith is an act of will, inspired by love. Our love can be cooled and our will deteriorate by the sight of the shortcomings, the madness, even the sins of the Church and its ministers, but do not think anyone who has ever had faith, back beyond its limit For these reasons (me-us anyone who has any historical knowledge). The "scandal" at most is a time of temptation, as it is the indecency of lust, which does not, but the wake. It is desirable because it tends to look away from ourselves and our own faults to find a scapegoat. But the act of the will of faith is not a single moment of final decision: it is a permanent act indefinitely repeated, ie a state that must be pursued so that we pray for obtaining a "final perseverance." The temptation of "disbelief" (which really means rejection of Our Lord and demands) is always present within us. A part of us longs to have an excuse to get out. The stronger is the temptation interior, more quickly and seriously we "stumble" others. I think I'm as sensitive as you (or any other Christian) to 'scandals', both clergy and laity. I suffered a lot in my life because of stupid priests, tired, dazed and even evil, but I know enough of me to be aware that I must not leave the church (which for me would mean abandoning the alliance with Our Lord) by none of those reasons: I do not believe should leave or no longer believe even though he had never met anyone of orders is not wise and holy time. Deny the Blessed Sacrament, that is, God called a fraud in his face. If he was a fraud and the Gospels, fraudulent, ie selected episodes with malicious intent of a mad megalomaniac (which is the only alternative), in this case, of course, the show displayed by the Church (in the sense the clergy) in history and today is a simple test of a gigantic fraud co. But if not, this show is, alas, only what was expected: it started before the first Easter faith does not affect at all, except insofar as we can and we should be very sorry. But we should grieve for our Lord, identifying with the offended, not saints, not to claim that we can not "tolerate" Judas Iscariot, or even the absurd and cowardly Simon Peter or the stupid women like the mother of James, who tried to put their children ahead. requires a great incredulity will assume that Jesus never really "took place" and even more to believe that he never said the things that he has been registered, so incapable was anyone in the world at that time of "invention" insert them " : such as "before Abraham came to be I am" (John VIII), "Whoever has seen me has seen the Father "(John, IX), or the enactment of the Blessed Sacrament in John, V:" Whoever has eaten my flesh and drink my blood has eternal life. " Therefore, either we believe in Him and what he said and stick to consequences, or reject it and face the consequences. I find it hard to believe that anyone who has taken the Communion, even once, at least with the right intention, can never again reject it without serious fault. (However, only He knows all souls and their unique circumstances.) The only cure for the weakening of faith is Communion. Although it is always the same, perfect and complete and inviolate, the Blessed Sacrament not operate the everything and once in any of us. As the act of faith, should be continued and enhanced, by exercise. Frequency has the highest impact. Seven times a week is more nourishing than seven times at intervals. I can also recommend this as an exercise (too easy it is, alas, find oppor-tunity for it): take communion in circumstances that are adverse to your liking. Choose a priest or a nasal or charlatan proud and vulgar friar, and a church full of the usual bourgeois, misbehaving children, of those who claim to be a product of Catholic schools, which at the time of opening the tent, sit and yawning, young dirty and neck open shirt, trousers women's hair at a time neglected and overdrafts. Go to take communion with them (and pray for them.) Be the same (or even me-Jor) a Mass said beautifully by a visibly virtuous man, and shared by a few devout and decorous people. (It could not have been worse than the confusion raised by feeding the Five Thousand, after which [our] Lord exposed food was coming.) I convinced the right of Peter, and watching the world around us does not seem to be little doubt (if Christianity is true) about what the True Church, the temple of the Spirit, dying but alive corrupt, but sa-grade, self-reform and re-established. But to me that Church which the Pope is the acknowledged head of the earth's main claim is that which has always maintained (and still advocates) the Blessed Sacrament, has revered do in the highest degree and has since ( as Christ obviously wanted it) first. The last thing entrusted to Peter was "Feed my sheep" and as His words should always be understood literally, I guess that relate primarily to the Bread of Life. It was against this that launched the revolution in Western Europe (or Reform) - "the blasphemous fable of the Mass" - and the opposition between works and faith, just a false clue. I guess the biggest reform of our time was carried out by Saint Pius X, surpassed anything, it was necessary that the Council achieved. I wonder what state the Church would find it not been for her. Go
so alarming and rambling disquisition! Not intended as a sermon! I have no doubt that you know all this and more. I am an ignorant man, but alone. And I take this opportunity to speak, which I am sure, would not use ever orally. But of course, worried about my children live, that in this world hard, cruel and mocking of which survive, they must suffer more attacks than I have suffered. But I am one who has left Egypt and pray to God that none of my seed has never go back there. I have witnessed (comprising half) of the heroic sufferings and early death in extreme poverty of my mother, who was the one who introduced me to the church, and received the amazing love of Francis Morgan. But I fell in love with the Blessed Sacrament from the beginning, and the mercy of God I have not ever fall: but, alas, I have not lived up to it. I have brought up all wrong and I have spoken very little. By evil and laziness I have almost ceased to practice my religion, especially in Leeds, and 22 Northmoor Road. Not for me the Hound of Heaven, but the incessant silent call of the Tabernacle and the feeling of a deadly famine. Bitterly regret those days (and suffer for them with all the patience that gives me), especially because I failed as a parent. Now I pray for you all, relentlessly, to the Curator [Healer] (the Hælend as the Savior was usually called Old English) to correct my faults and none of you ever stop to exclaim: Benedict qui venit in nomine Domini. (...)
The letter is not complete, is only a fragment.
November 1, 1963
76 Sandfield Road, Headington, Oxford
My dear M.:
Thanks for writing ... Long last! I do not think you've inherited from my dislike of writing letters, but the inability to write briefly. Which means, inevitably, rarely in your life (and mine). I think we both like to write letters ad family; but we are forced to write both "business" that fail us time and energy.
I'm sorry you feel depressed. I hope this is partly a result of your illness. But I fear that is above all an occupational affliction and human disease almost universal (any occupation) associated with your age .... I remember quite clearly the time when I was your age (in 1935). Had become 10 years before (still innocent and trusting, full of the illusions of youth) to Oxford, I now disliked the students and their style and had really begun to know the professors. Years earlier had rejected as repugnant cynicism a vulgar person own the words of warning that told me the old Joseph Wright: "What are you looking at Oxford, boy?" "A university, a place of learning." "On the contrary, boy, is a factory! And you know what it does? I'll tell you. Is making fees. Get it on the head and begin to understand what happens. "
In 1935, alas, I knew that was perfectly true. Anyway, as a key to the conduct of professors. Perfectly true, but not the whole truth. (The largest part of the truth is always hidden in regions beyond the reach of cynicism.) I applied stonewalling and was hampered in my efforts (as a teacher of class B with partial salary, but with duties of class A) for the sake of the subject and the reform of teaching, scholarship by vested interests and fees. But at least I have not suffered like you, never forced me to teach anything but love (and love) with unquenchable enthusiasm. (Except for a brief time after my change of Chair in 1945: it was awful.)
devotion to the "teaching" as such and without reference to one's reputation is a high calling and in a sense to a spiritual vocation, and since it is "high" is inevitably lowered by false brethren, brothers tired, by the desire for money and pride when people say "my subject" and thus does not mean the subject in which I am humbly bent, but the subject that I have decks or 'made me. " Surely this devotion usually degrades and sullies in universities. But there still is-ta. And if they are close to contempt, would disappear from the face of the earth ... until they are re-established in corruption again in due time. The much greater devotion to religion can not possibly escape the same process. Of course it is degraded to some extent by all the "professional" (and by all professing Christians), and some, at different times and places, outraged, and as the goal is higher, the downside seems (and is) far worse. But you can not maintain a tradition of teaching or true science without schools and universities, and that means teachers and professors. And you can not maintain a religion without a church and ministers, and that means professionals, priests and bishops ... and monks. The precious wine must (this world) have a bottle or a substitute even less valuable. For my part, I find that I become less cynical, not otherwise pro-remembering my own sins and follies, and I realize that the hearts of men is often not as bad as their acts, and rarely as bad as their words. (Especially at our age, age of derision and cynicism. We are more free from hypocrisy, it does not "block" profess holiness or feelings quite high, but it is an age of hypocrisy as the widely-used inverted snobbery of the day: men profess to be worse than they are .)... .
But you speak of "faith weakened." That is another matter altogether. Ultimately, faith is an act of will, inspired by love. Our love can be cooled and our will deteriorate by the sight of the shortcomings, the madness, even the sins of the Church and its ministers, but do not think anyone who has ever had faith, back beyond its limit For these reasons (me-us anyone who has any historical knowledge). The "scandal" at most is a time of temptation, as it is the indecency of lust, which does not, but the wake. It is desirable because it tends to look away from ourselves and our own faults to find a scapegoat. But the act of the will of faith is not a single moment of final decision: it is a permanent act indefinitely repeated, ie a state that must be pursued so that we pray for obtaining a "final perseverance." The temptation of "disbelief" (which really means rejection of Our Lord and demands) is always present within us. A part of us longs to have an excuse to get out. The stronger is the temptation interior, more quickly and seriously we "stumble" others. I think I'm as sensitive as you (or any other Christian) to 'scandals', both clergy and laity. I suffered a lot in my life because of stupid priests, tired, dazed and even evil, but I know enough of me to be aware that I must not leave the church (which for me would mean abandoning the alliance with Our Lord) by none of those reasons: I do not believe should leave or no longer believe even though he had never met anyone of orders is not wise and holy time. Deny the Blessed Sacrament, that is, God called a fraud in his face. If he was a fraud and the Gospels, fraudulent, ie selected episodes with malicious intent of a mad megalomaniac (which is the only alternative), in this case, of course, the show displayed by the Church (in the sense the clergy) in history and today is a simple test of a gigantic fraud co. But if not, this show is, alas, only what was expected: it started before the first Easter faith does not affect at all, except insofar as we can and we should be very sorry. But we should grieve for our Lord, identifying with the offended, not saints, not to claim that we can not "tolerate" Judas Iscariot, or even the absurd and cowardly Simon Peter or the stupid women like the mother of James, who tried to put their children ahead. requires a great incredulity will assume that Jesus never really "took place" and even more to believe that he never said the things that he has been registered, so incapable was anyone in the world at that time of "invention" insert them " : such as "before Abraham came to be I am" (John VIII), "Whoever has seen me has seen the Father "(John, IX), or the enactment of the Blessed Sacrament in John, V:" Whoever has eaten my flesh and drink my blood has eternal life. " Therefore, either we believe in Him and what he said and stick to consequences, or reject it and face the consequences. I find it hard to believe that anyone who has taken the Communion, even once, at least with the right intention, can never again reject it without serious fault. (However, only He knows all souls and their unique circumstances.) The only cure for the weakening of faith is Communion. Although it is always the same, perfect and complete and inviolate, the Blessed Sacrament not operate the everything and once in any of us. As the act of faith, should be continued and enhanced, by exercise. Frequency has the highest impact. Seven times a week is more nourishing than seven times at intervals. I can also recommend this as an exercise (too easy it is, alas, find oppor-tunity for it): take communion in circumstances that are adverse to your liking. Choose a priest or a nasal or charlatan proud and vulgar friar, and a church full of the usual bourgeois, misbehaving children, of those who claim to be a product of Catholic schools, which at the time of opening the tent, sit and yawning, young dirty and neck open shirt, trousers women's hair at a time neglected and overdrafts. Go to take communion with them (and pray for them.) Be the same (or even me-Jor) a Mass said beautifully by a visibly virtuous man, and shared by a few devout and decorous people. (It could not have been worse than the confusion raised by feeding the Five Thousand, after which [our] Lord exposed food was coming.) I convinced the right of Peter, and watching the world around us does not seem to be little doubt (if Christianity is true) about what the True Church, the temple of the Spirit, dying but alive corrupt, but sa-grade, self-reform and re-established. But to me that Church which the Pope is the acknowledged head of the earth's main claim is that which has always maintained (and still advocates) the Blessed Sacrament, has revered do in the highest degree and has since ( as Christ obviously wanted it) first. The last thing entrusted to Peter was "Feed my sheep" and as His words should always be understood literally, I guess that relate primarily to the Bread of Life. It was against this that launched the revolution in Western Europe (or Reform) - "the blasphemous fable of the Mass" - and the opposition between works and faith, just a false clue. I guess the biggest reform of our time was carried out by Saint Pius X, surpassed anything, it was necessary that the Council achieved. I wonder what state the Church would find it not been for her. Go
so alarming and rambling disquisition! Not intended as a sermon! I have no doubt that you know all this and more. I am an ignorant man, but alone. And I take this opportunity to speak, which I am sure, would not use ever orally. But of course, worried about my children live, that in this world hard, cruel and mocking of which survive, they must suffer more attacks than I have suffered. But I am one who has left Egypt and pray to God that none of my seed has never go back there. I have witnessed (comprising half) of the heroic sufferings and early death in extreme poverty of my mother, who was the one who introduced me to the church, and received the amazing love of Francis Morgan. But I fell in love with the Blessed Sacrament from the beginning, and the mercy of God I have not ever fall: but, alas, I have not lived up to it. I have brought up all wrong and I have spoken very little. By evil and laziness I have almost ceased to practice my religion, especially in Leeds, and 22 Northmoor Road. Not for me the Hound of Heaven, but the incessant silent call of the Tabernacle and the feeling of a deadly famine. Bitterly regret those days (and suffer for them with all the patience that gives me), especially because I failed as a parent. Now I pray for you all, relentlessly, to the Curator [Healer] (the Hælend as the Savior was usually called Old English) to correct my faults and none of you ever stop to exclaim: Benedict qui venit in nomine Domini. (...)
The letter is not complete, is only a fragment.
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